I'm seriously considering dropping my last name and legally becoming Claudia Stuart (currently my middle name, and a family name on my mother's side).
The biggest reason is that I don't want to go by Claudia Weinstock professionally. The two fields I want to work in, theatre and academia, rely a lot on name recognition, so if I start going by Claudia Weinstock, I have to stay Claudia Weinstock, even after I get married, and I'm going to want to take my husband's name.
I could go by Claudia Stuart without legally changing it, but why? If everyone knows me as Claudia Stuart, it might as well say Claudia Stuart on my license. Besides, I think it's a little silly and pretentious to use a stage name when I'm not onstage. After I marry, I can take my husband's name, move Stuart back to the middle, and continue to go by Claudia Stuart professionally.
Also, I've always hated Weinstock. It sounds ugly and whiny. I like the flow of Claudia Stuart much better.
Finally, and this isn't much of a concern here in New York, but if I go somewhere else with a super Jewy last name, I might run into expectations or prejudices. Claudia Stuart is much more ambiguous.
It was my father's idea to give me a middle name that could serve as a last name if I ever want to drop Weinstock, so he wouldn't be insulted. He hates his name, too. All my relatives are dead, indifferent, or senile. With the exception of one, and I don't have to tell him.
I think I'm actually going to do this. I just wanted people's thoughts. If you think it's completely stupid and unnecessary and vain, or if you think that's what other people will think when they find out I changed it, tell me.
I'm not going to adopt a middle name (that way, like I said, I can just move Stuart back to the middle when I get married), but if I decide I want a "power initial" for some reason, I can write Claudia W. Stuart.
I've been thinking about this, and I'd like to get other people's thoughts. I haven't seen a good LJ discussion in a while.
How long should you wait in a relationship before getting married? Is it how long you've known each other, or how long you've been dating? Does it depend on your age (i.e., should you wait longer if you're under 25)? Is there some milestone you have to hit? I know it won't be the same number for everyone, but is there an absolute minimum, no matter what?
I know people who were together for five or six years before getting engaged, and I know people who were married before their first anniversary.
Don't worry, I'm not getting married anytime soon. Just curious about other people's thoughts.
Honestly, I'm not even sure what my thoughts are. That's why I'm asking everyone here. I think less than 1 year is definitely not enough time, but I have no idea where the line is.
Just a general ponderment (ponderance?) and I would really like some thoughts.
In my experience, the difference between real love and ... not real love is only after it's over. At least, that's the only time I can tell the difference.
Only after a relationship ends can I say, "Yep, that was real love," or "Oh, I guess that was just an infatuation," or "Turns out I was just in love with not being single anymore."
So, if it is impossible to know whether you are in love at the time, is it wrong to say it? Does it even matter whether it's true as long as you believe it is at the time, although you know full well that it could turn out to be something entirely different in the end?
To me, real love is the kind that doesn't just go away. It can get pushed to the back of your mind so that you're able to get on with your life, but when you see or hear from the person even a year later, those feelings come back to the front and you still love them and you still miss them. I've had that. Twice.
Obviously, I'd rather not end the relationship just to find out whether I'm in love. But is there a way to tell while you're in it?
What if you're in a relationship and you think you love each other, but in reality you don't, but you never find out because the relationship never comes to an end? Is there even a difference at that point between real love and what you feel? Is ignorance really bliss?
Hmm. This is coming across as more Carrie Bradshaw than I intended.
I guess what I'm asking is, how do you know when you're in love, and is it okay to say it if you're not sure (even if it's not possible to be sure)?
Oh, and I apologize to anyone who now has bad 80s music in their head.
The Scene, starring Tony Shalhoub The Fever, starring Wallace Shawn Prelude to a Kiss, starring Alan Tudyk Deuce, starring Angela Lansbury Legally Blonde A Chorus Line Les Misérables Company The Drowsy Chaperone Spring Awakening RENT, starring Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal (twice!) Xanadu (Surprisingly, awesome. I want to see it again.) The Awesome 80s Prom Curtains Young Frankenstein (lottery for discount seats starts in two weeks) The Little Mermaid (not open yet)
The B-squad: The Apple Tree Chicago, starring Bebe Neuwirth Talk Radio, starring Liev Schreiber Grey Gardens The Fantasticks
New additions: King Lear, starring Ian McKellen Hairspray, starring Lance Bass The Drowsy Chaperone again, because Bob Saget is joining the cast! The Ritz Frankenstein Peter and Jerry, starring Bill Pullman (opens next week) The Homecoming (not open yet) EDIT: Spamalot, starring Clay Aiken